Last I knew I just needed cuddles.
Checking in from space here. Tall, Dark and moderately handsome lasted all of a few weeks. He was sweet and well… eager to please. And that he did, repeatedly during my four sleepovers. Then in walks P. He is immensely shy and totally adorable. The most giving and considerate man I’ve ever met. Did I mention totally adorable? More about him in another post, you can count on it.
Since then, I’ve been doing yoga, weekly meditation groups, daily meditations at home, I started volunteering in the personal growth arena I was involved in years ago and I’ve signed up for dance classes. Weren’t those all things I blogged about wanting to do just a few short months ago? Hmmm interesting! P has done ALL the personal growth work I have, through the same company. Interesting indeed.
I took a class called Cornerstone though a local woman P introduced me to. She’s also a hypnotherapist, a counselor, a PhD, a teacher, an author and so many other things. She’s a pretty freakin smart lady! She’s also incredibly gifted and is starting a school on alternative healing and energy work. Some of the things she covers in the Cornerstone are the same as in the other work I’ve done but she goes way beyond those Basics. I’ve learned so much about energy and grounding (and why it’s so important). I’m floored at the things I’m discovering about all of that. Also, apparently, I’m an empath.
Quite frankly, 2 weeks ago I didn’t even know the definition of that word and there’s still a mountain of things for me to learn. Basically, I take on other people’s feelings and feel them as my own. After discovering that is a real thing and looking back throughout my life I can think of many specific examples of when that happened. Other times I’m still trying to figure out if the immense feelings I had during certain times were my own feelings or someone else’s. From what I’ve been reading (everything I can get my hands on) I’m under the impression that most empaths can differentiate between someone else’s “stuff” and their own. I can honestly say I can only tell the difference now when I recognize that something I’m feeling isn’t appropriate for what I’m doing and then I have the opportunity to ask people around me if they are feeling “_______”. Example: I was driving myself and a friend across the border to go shopping in Washington about 2 weeks ago. Approaching the border line up, I got this very nervous feeling in my stomach, bad butterflies. Almost to the point I was nauseous. I couldn’t figure out why I was so nervous, then it occurred to me I have no reason at all to be nervous and asked my friend if he was nervous for some reason. He explained that he hadn’t crossed the border in a few years and it always freaks him out a little. Mind totally blown! Then the butterflies went away (mine did anyway). I’m not sure if it was because he felt better and wasn’t feeling them anymore or because I recognized they weren’t mine..
I realize this sounds like hocus-pocus bullshit but it makes so much sense to me and it’s really the first time I’ve come across the explanations of these things. I am finding evidence of it all over my life. I wonder how many relationships I was sucked into because I felt what they were feeling toward me instead of anything of my own. Not an excuse for bad choices but it sure does make a lot of sense to me. I wonder how different my life would be, my career choices, my relationship choices had I known these things 25 (or 40) years ago. I’ve come across some really good articles and books in the last few days.
Also, I received a set of healing cards for Christmas, (Yup, from P.) they center on spirituality and wellness. I pulled a card before closing this blog: “To be sure of the road, close your eyes and walk in the dark. Spiritually closing your eyes permits Heaven to enact the most wonderful guidance in your life. Say the prayer, ‘Open a new road to me today’ and expect the unexpected. When it appears, accept the gift.”