Busy week last week and busier weekend, I’ve been wanting to get back here since last Tuesday. This is the first opportunity I’ve had to sit down.
Tuesday we went back to “church” for meditation, healing and development group. Meditation was exactly as it sounds, everyone seated in their pews, eyes closed, open body position doing a long guided meditation together. I’m used to a more focused energy in a group meditation so I wasn’t able to ground and stay with it. No freakin idea what they said. I realize the information still went in but my top layer was off in lala land rearranging my bookcases at home and thinking about all the other people in the room.
Then they had healing. I mentioned in a previous post that I grew up in a fairly radical religious environment. It was not unusual to see people speaking in tongues and/or going to the front for hands-on healing. Bear with me continuing to refer back to my religious background, that’s my only frame of reference for what I’m experiencing. This was… not at all like that. We finished meditation and she asked for the healers to come up. Four people came up to the front and there were four padded stools spaced around the front of the room. I feel the need to say here that it didn’t feel like it was a spectacle being set up as it would have been in the church of my youth.
That was always a show. Not that I doubt, in the least, the healing powers of prayer but there was no show being staged here. Just quiet, respectful, energy healing. One of the healers was very mobile, moving her hands all over, using a hand motion on the woman’s back that looked like she was pulling a long spiderweb off from her and wrapping it around her hand. One of the other healers did something similar, wiping down the surface of his person’s body and shaking it off is hands, like he was literally throwing it on the ground. No crutches were thrown in the air and the blind didn’t see but there was definitely a shift of energy in the room. Also, I have no idea what was “ailing” the people who went up for healing so I can’t say for sure whether or not they were healed.
On to development circle. Circle up, 12 people, quick guided meditation to ground and then we split into pairs to deliver a message. “Sorry, do what?” The instructions were to deliver whatever message you received to your partner. Doesn’t matter if you understand the message, just deliver it. If you hear a word or words – say them, if you see a picture – describe it, if you “know” something – say it. etc. All I got from sitting with the lady across from me was an unbelievably nervous feeling in my stomach. I can describe her but it’s sort of pointless here. All I can say is that she felt lost and grasping to me. I told her I didn’t see or hear or know anything (other than the judgments I had ping ponging around in my head) but I could feel how nervous she was. We chatted for a few minutes about that and then it went away for me. I got nothing else. She said she saw only one thing and nothing else came to her about me, “Purple Velvet Car”. I do not drive nor have I ever owned a purple velvet car so I chalked it up as the cuckoo clock chiming midnight and didn’t put any additional thought into it.
After everyone shared how powerful (or not) their message from their partner was, the speaker talked some about the different gift presenting there. I’m not sure how else to put that. She pointed out, when one particular person shared “I kept hearing the words ______” that person is likely clairaudient. *Side note: I felt the need to look that one up. check this out http://www.seasofmintaka.com/clairaudience.html#axzz2qunrWcu4
Or one man who saw his development partner in a boat on a calm body of water relaxing and laughing, she told him he is likely clairvoyant because he received an image. That one I didn’t need to look up but I pulled this anyway. http://www.seasofmintaka.com/clairvoyance.html#axzz2qunrWcu4
She identified me as an empath because I felt the other woman’s nervousness so clearly. I’m just excited I could figure out that it wasn’t me that was nervous and I was able to make it stop. Still not sure why it went away. Maybe it was calming for the woman to talk about being nervous or maybe it went away because I recognized it wasn’t mine and let it go. Still working on how all that works. For giggles here’s the same lady’s definition of emathy: http://www.seasofmintaka.com/psychic-empathy-1.html#axzz2qunrWcu4
After reading through the links (and many many other empath blogs) I’m increasingly frustrated by the fact that until very recently, I had no earthly idea the feelings I was having were not my own. I’ve lived my entire life with no clue of why I fell head over heels in love with someone who when they lost interest in me or their heart drifted, I could walk away feeling nothing. Perhaps I never actually loved them at all, it was their feelings I was feeling. That sounds like a gross cop out to bad relationships, I’ll take full responsibility for following my heart (and other body parts) into bad relationships but, for me, it’s worth contemplating the possibility. Also, I remembered this week a flight I took between Calgary and Vancouver a few years ago. I’ve been flying since I was a kid and never once have I been sick on a plane. I sat through this entire flight with the barf bag over my face trying not to hurl. (haha, that poor lady next to me). Is it possible that I was sick because I was picking up someone else’s motion sickness? That was the only time in my life I’ve ever had motion sickness, I’ve even been on a 14 foot fishing boat in stormy water in Alaska without so much as a gurgly burp… The more I think about that, the more I’m sure I was picking up someone else’s sickness. On Tuesday night while we were sitting in the healing portion, I mentioned to Mr. Tall and Handsome that I had gotten a really bad headache. He rubbed my shoulders for a minute then leaned in and whispered, “How bad is it?” I told him it was actually quite bad and I might need to go get some air. He asked “Did you have it, at all, before a few minutes ago?” Nope… He whispered again, “That headache is not yours. Close your eyes, ground yourself and pull your energy into yourself. It will go away.” I’ll be damned if that didn’t work! Honestly it never occurred to me that someone with a headache might have come into the church for the healing portion of the night. There were a number of people that came in right before the healing session began. Mind. blown. again.
More experiences this weekend to share when I have a few more minutes to chat. One more thing for tonight. Remember my nervous partner from my development circle? She said “Purple velvet car” and it didn’t mean a dang thing to me that night. A few nights later I was waiting for Mr Cutie Pie to finish getting ready, I sat down in front of my desktop computer watching the screensaver flash through the entire contents of all my photo albums. This photo flashed by:
I was walking the strip in Las Vegas 4 years ago and snapped a picture of this ridiculous PURPLE CAR WITH GREY VELVET SEATS!!! Holy shit, that is all.